If I could talk with the animals

when a family member pup crossed, I was put to the test

I love his face.

His gaze is love and hello and I’m not going anywhere - all rolled into one. He brings that love served up like french fries when you’re sad and saltines and Sprite when you’re sick. He gazes up into your face transmitting all of that love, peace, true adoration, while simultaneously dropping a slobbery ball on your feet. It’s not like love comes at a cost or anything, but you really should seriously consider throwing the ball.

You should just throw it.

I don’t know why dogs' heads smell so good, but Duke is no exception. Grabbing a big handful of his fur is like having the whole world in your palm, not only is it all going to be ok, (heʻs making sure of it) but you know this boy is going to carry you to all destinations on every continent just like that giant creature in Neverending Story ~ solving all of the stupid human problems along the way.

He’s got a big head, the biggest brown eyes and that stealthy shepherd run that makes you wonder if maybe he’s going to need a massage later.

Oh Duke.

Of course we know all dogs go to heaven, and they are going there soon but when they go too soon the pain is too great, it’s too much. It’s a great way to explore what excruciating feels like. So when the Duke of our hearts died suddenly last week we were all so spun out and sad and even though I’m 6,000 miles from where he lived, I stopped breathing when I heard of his departure.

Oh no, oh no, oh no!!!! 

Oh Duke.

My cousin rescued him from a place where the previous people felt like keeping him tied to a tree all day was reasonable behavior. She didn’t agree. She didn’t tell them so, she just offered to give him a home. They accepted. He is a show dog; cut from the cloth of royalty (as you can tell by his name) and my cousin had pound dogs at her place but fortunately due to aforementioned tree he deigned to come live on their big ole piece of land and be their pure-bred protector. 

He brought a big Duke bark.

He did not mess around when it came to managing the front door of that giant gate, no one passed through there unless they were family (or to tell a family secret, if you threw him a ball you could slip in). But without that secret tennis ball password, you’d be facing down one fierce mo-fo and have no desire at all to pass through that territory without his permission.

When this terrible event of his crossing came to pass, my cousin let me know that she was going to need some medium-ing.

I said. “Of course!”

Talking to animals on the other side (and here) is a concept that’s sorta still on the up-and-coming skill list, but I did have great success at Hogwarts spontaneously bringing a dog through as told here, that gave me a lot of confidence. And weirdly I’ve been able to track lost pets; which is a cool and helpful skill. My concern was that I know the sweet boy especially well, and my broken heart might make it a bit tough to bring him through.

But luckily, Duke is the king.

And he made the communication easy. The first thing he showed me was him running so fast and leaping in an almost comical way in a field full of other pups in sparkling sunlight. He turned around and said to me “It’s amazing here! Nothing hurts! I’m so happy!’ 

Which made us both cry very hard. And say OHHHHHHHHHH. And then feel relief and much more sadness. I could feel that his hips had been hurting before, but now now. She confirmed that was true; he had sore hips so that would make sense.

Before my cousin could even ask too much about the events of his passing, Duke sat down in his regal way, staring me down in the soft-brown-eyed-fierce-love-lazer and said.

It’s not her fault. 

More crying. Of course it wasn’t her fault but his passing was sudden and like any human who loses a magical creature she had the questions about should she have gotten to the vet sooner or was there anything she could have done kind of thing. But.

Duke.

Wasn’t having any of it. He was like, NOT. YOUR. FAULT.

He stared into me and I explained the posture and the look to her and we said OHHHHHHHHHHHH again and cried some more. A crying medium isn’t the best scenario but what are you gonna do? This is just how some impromptu readings go.

He met up with my Uncle Jack, my cousin’s Dad, and Jack looked rather glorious, his white hair back lit in the sparkling field from where Duke was transmitting. He looked so healthy, all that lost weight was back on, his smile as sweet as his heart.

Of course Duke had other things to say, including gratitude for my cousin for holding him as he crossed over, gratitude to her for rescuing him from the tree and pointing out that he rescued her through some heartbreak. True. Then thanked her cause she also rescued him again when another Shepard came into the family and sorta stole his thunder. But he also explained that in his crossing - he was rescuing her - again. Cause, she had some feelings that need to come out of the cupboard, some grief stacked up. I’m pretty sure he used the word cupboard. And he definitely said stacked grief.

And so now we have one more incredible creature across the rainbow bridge and a giant Duke shaped hole in our hearts. A few hours later I saw this rainbow on my way home, and knew it was our boy Duke thanking me for being a soggy messenger.